so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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