Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I did not marry a roomba.
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