we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize