I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize