I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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