I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize