What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
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Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
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how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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