weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize