the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
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Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
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I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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