If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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