Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize