Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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