I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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