YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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