I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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