its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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