Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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