just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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