so explain again why im purple
no
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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