I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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