That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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