You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
this just has baby written all over it
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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