Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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