I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
This is the prime rib incident all over again
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He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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