I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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