I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
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Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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