Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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