she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
3pm strippers are depressing
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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