dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
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He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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