i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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