i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize