I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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