i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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