the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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