I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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