so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
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Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
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Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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