i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize