he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My vagina just clenched in fear
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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