I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize