ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is dick and wine.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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