I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize