He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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