im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize