Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You're like the curious george of whores
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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