I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She's the barista slut.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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