..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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