fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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