In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize