I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize