woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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